The Gift of Rock Bottom: How I Turned My Struggles into Transformation
July 15, 2024
Growth and self-actualization have been the guiding forces of my journey. Even during my darkest moments, the flicker of hope and vision for something better has always been my North Star. It’s what kept me moving forward when everything else seemed uncertain. My path hasn’t been a straight line—it’s been a spiral, with moments of progress followed by moments of setbacks. When I reflect on my twenties, I can see that even in times of stagnation or when things didn’t work out as I’d desperately hoped, I was still moving forward. I was divinely guided, always on the path to self-discovery and, eventually, the beginnings of self-love. Every experience, including the missteps, shaped the person I am today.
In my twenties, like many women, I found myself feeling stuck, lost, and searching for answers. I was suffering—hard. I bounced from one self-help book to the next, consumed every podcast, hoping for a quick fix or a magical solution that would instantly transform my life. While I’ve always been drawn to spirituality, I couldn’t fully embrace the idea that simply thinking positively or wishing things into existence could truly change my reality. The concept of “manifesting” felt elusive—almost too good to be true.
Everything shifted when I discovered the teachings of Lacy Phillips (To Be Magnetic) and Joe Dispenza. Their work resonated with me on a deep level and completely shifted my perspective on manifestation. Rather than just focusing on external desires, their approach empowered me to co-create my reality by reshaping my internal world—the beliefs I held about myself. It was a beautiful blend of psychology, neuroscience, and spirituality, guiding me to rewire my brain, challenge my self-limiting beliefs, shift the quality of my thoughts, and align with the energy of the Universe to manifest abundance.
These revelations marked a turning point. Instead of passively consuming advice or attempting to think positively, which often felt incongruent with my beliefs, I began actively applying these principles grounded in science. I cultivated self-awareness and curiosity about why I did and didn't do things. I immersed myself in practices that not only helped me deeply heal but also empowered me through intentional inner work and aligned action. Despite seeing some progress, I still felt a lingering disconnect from my path, a sense that something was holding me back
That all changed in late 2020, amidst the chaos of the pandemic. At 28, I found myself unemployed, grieving the end of a six-year relationship, and moving back into my mom’s house. Having spent most of my twenties with a partner I thought I’d marry, the end of the relationship hit me hard. My depression deepened, and uncertainty consumed me. Due to my fears of abandonment and low self-worth, I had always prioritized his well-being over my own—my happiness and identity intricately tied to him. With him gone, I felt like a shell of myself, unsure of who I was and what I wanted.
Despite the years of self-help and spirituality, I realized I had never fully committed myself to personal growth. I had always lived for him, never for me. The future I had envisioned was his dream, not mine. I had to learn who I was outside of the partnership.
I share this part of my journey because this breakup—my “rock bottom”—became the catalyst for profound transformation. Rock bottom gave me clarity. Amid the heartbreak, a new sense of hope and direction emerged. It was finally my moment to fully commit to turning inward, to rediscover who I was, what I truly wanted, and to fall in love with myself again. I dove deep into mental and physical work—deactivating social media, restarting therapy, incorporating daily movement, embracing solitude, and nurturing meaningful friendships. It was a rollercoaster of highs and lows, but I slowly began to emerge stronger and more aligned with my true self.
Fast forward to today: I’ve found purpose and passion. I left my corporate job and have temporarily settled in Kauai with my aligned partner to build our dream businesses, with Bali on the horizon. This leap of faith—years in the making—flowed effortlessly, a testament to my belief in the power of manifestation.
Mentors like Dr. Martha Beck, Tara Brach, Dr. Tara Swart, Lacy Phillips, Joe Dispenza, Dr. Andrew Huberman, and many others have deeply influenced my approach to life. Their insights continue to inspire me as I strive for personal growth, blending science and logic with the mystical potential of the Universe. I am deeply driven to guide and support other women on their transformative journeys, helping them cultivate self-love and fulfillment in their own lives.
If you find yourself at rock bottom or knocked down, know this: it’s not a failure or an end-of-the-world moment. It’s a redirection, an invitation to turn inward and discover what the Universe is trying to tell you. Sometimes the greatest growth happens when we’re forced to realign with our true selves.
While it may feel difficult and uncertain, this moment is not a reflection of your worth—it’s simply part of the unfolding of your journey. Every challenge holds the seed for transformation, and every setback is an opportunity for a powerful comeback. Trust that even in the darkness, you’re being guided. The next chapter, filled with more clarity, more strength, and more of who you truly are, is already on its way.
With love and light 💫
Syd
