Growth Is Not Linear: A Gentle Reminder for the Tough Days

December 16, 2024

A gentle reminder to myself: Stop expecting to change overnight—it doesn’t work that way. Growth is messy and unpredictable. It’s not a neat, upward trajectory. It’s two steps forward, five steps back—falling, fumbling, getting up, and starting again. And I’m learning, slowly, that it’s okay to be messy. It’s okay to feel low.

When I’m in my rhythm, everything feels possible. My rituals flow effortlessly, my mind feels light, clear, and optimistic. I feel unstoppable—like I can take on anything. But then life happens. I get sick, too busy, or distracted, and I get knocked off my forward moving momentum. One day of skipping my grounding rituals turns into three, then five.

And just like that, the downward spiral begins. My negative mind doesn’t waste a second. It swoops in, whispering things I wish I didn’t believe anymore: “See? You’ll never change. You’ll never achieve your dreams. You’re destined to be stuck, always striving but never arriving.” Suddenly, I’m drowning in the weight of that voice, feeling like I’ve undone all the work I’ve put into myself.

I’m in this low place right now—full of anxiety and fear. It feels like a dark shadow clouding everything I feel…everything I think. Everything begins to feel hopeless when this energy takes control of me.

It’s in these moments that my fixed mindset—the one that feels so deeply ingrained—takes over. It grabs hold of every setback and uses it as proof that I’m not good enough. The dark thoughts and insecurities swirl around me, and for a moment, they feel absolute.

But as I write this, another voice emerges. It’s quiet—faint but steady. It’s the part of me that’s been doing the work, the part that’s beginning to trust in my own power. It tells me to pause, to take a breath. In this moment of presence, space begins to open within me, allowing the steady voice to grow louder. It warms my heart chakra and gently reminds me: This isn’t the end. I’ve been here before, and I’ve always found my way through.

I’ve learned that I can’t simply think my way out of these moments. My rational mind knows these thoughts are old, outdated beliefs, ones laid down in my childhood—beliefs that no longer serve me. But my emotional brain doesn’t care about logic. It simply feels the weight of it all: the fear, the hopelessness, the disconnection. And I’ve learned that feeding this energy only makes it stronger. I need to shift my physiology, the energy circulating through my body.

So I pause. I breathe deeply, filling my body with life force. I shake out the tension in my body, and I let my higher self—the part of me that knows better—pierce through the darkness. Slowly, I begin to clear space for something else—something lighter, something more hopeful.

In the moments when I feel low and defeated, the actions that ground and uplift me often feel like the hardest things to do. But I know they’re the remedy. Moving my body, meditating, journaling—they may seem simple, but they are everything. Small, aligned actions have the power to pull me out of the heaviest fog and reestablish my momentum.

It’s taken all of my effort to write this post. I wanted to stay stuck in my downward spiral, to dwell in the heaviness, but I’m so glad I didn’t. As I write, I can feel the truth settling in. I remember the times I’ve felt deeply connected to my body, my clear mind, and the infinite source of creation. Those moments remind me that I don’t need to fix everything all at once—I just need to take one small step.

This journey of healing—of reprogramming old beliefs, of finding my way back to myself—is not for nothing. Every time I rise after falling, I prove to myself that I can. Every time I realign, I strengthen the belief that I’m capable. Slowly but surely, I’m building a new foundation, even when it doesn’t feel that way.

I know I’ll fall again. I know I’ll find myself in this dark place many more times. But I also know I have the tools to find my way out. And that’s where the shift happens. I’m strengthening the trust and confidence within myself.

When I stop fighting the darkness, when I embrace it as part of the process, the light begins to seep through the cracks. It fills me with hope and reminds me that this messiness is just part of life. Growth is not linear, and it’s not meant to be. It’s messy. It’s painful. But it’s also deeply human.

Does this resonate with you? I’d love to hear how you navigate the messy, nonlinear path of growth. Let’s support each other in this journey—feel free to share your thoughts in the comments or reach out directly.

With love and light 💫

Syd