The Power of a Social Media Hiatus: How Disconnecting Helped Me Find Myself
November 12, 2024
In late 2021, it became abundantly clear that I needed a serious break from Instagram. The end of a long-term relationship had delivered a huge blow to my already fragile self-worth, and I found myself obsessively checking the app—curious about what my ex was doing, posting “thirst traps” for validation, and sharing story after story of everything I was up to. I was trying to prove—to myself and everyone watching—that I was thriving and living an amazing life.
The truth was that I wasn’t even present in my own life. I’d be out with friends at genuinely fun events but felt consumed by the need to post and then anxiously checked to see who was viewing. Deep down, I was trying to convince myself I was okay, but the reality? I was completely disconnected from my true feelings, hiding behind a facade that masked my confusion and hurt.
The end of my relationship forced me to face the fact that I had lost touch with who I was and what I genuinely wanted. My ex had never asked me to change, yet I’d unconsciously molded myself into the person I thought he wanted, abandoning parts of myself along the way. Suddenly, without the relationship to define me, I didn’t know who I was. And instead of looking inward, I turned to social media for direction.
On Instagram, it seemed like everyone had it all figured out. I’d see people traveling the world, climbing the corporate ladder, moving to big cities, or starting families. Each post was a trigger, each lifestyle a possibility. I felt paralyzed by the overwhelming number of choices and crushed by the weight of comparison. My inner voice was drowned out by the noise of everyone else’s lives. Deep down, I knew that if I wanted clarity, I’d have to remove the distractions and reconnect with myself. Most importantly, I needed to stop using social media as a tool for validation.
I’d tried “digital detoxes” before—deleting Instagram only to reinstall it a few hours later in a moment of weakness. But the real turning point came during a conversation with a friend. She told me about someone we both knew who had moved to a new city and was posting all about her fabulous life on Instagram. I envied her bold move, only to find out that she was actually miserable and already wanted to return home. The realization hit me hard: so much of what I envied was just a projection. It was time to get off, for real.
Confronting My Inner Dialogue
Quitting Instagram cold turkey was tough. For weeks, I’d habitually reach for my phone, only to remember the app was gone. This forced me to confront the uncomfortable reality of my inner thoughts, and honestly, they weren’t kind. I began to notice just how critical and harsh I was toward myself. Without social media as a distraction, I had to face my insecurities head-on.
Leaving social media was like shedding a weight I didn’t realize I was carrying. I went from mindlessly scrolling to spending that time cultivating self-awareness and reconnecting with the things I truly loved. I was no longer measuring my life against others’ carefully curated images, and in that quiet space, I discovered the peace and clarity I’d been searching for.
I used this newfound time and energy to finally invest in myself. I started therapy, where I learned to question my thoughts and unearth deeply ingrained beliefs that had guided me for years without my awareness. I delved into books on psychology and spirituality, developed a morning routine, and began meditating, practicing breathwork, and journaling daily. I exercised, practiced yoga, and reconnected with friends on a genuine level. With each of these practices, I began to find my own rhythm, unfiltered by other people’s expectations or achievements. Instead of relying on social media for validation or inspiration, I looked inward, focusing on practices that reconnected me to my intuition and self-worth. I was finally building a life that was in alignment with my own values and desires.
The Growth that Followed
Reflecting on the past three years, I’m amazed by the transformation. I look back on that former version of myself with compassion—she was doing her best, navigating a tough season. While I’m still unlearning and having “aha” moments, I feel like I’m on a path that genuinely lights me up. I’ve learned to recognize my triggers, slow down, and approach my thoughts with curiosity rather than judgment.
A Natural Instinct Taken to the Extreme
As social creatures, we’re wired for connection. Seeking validation and acceptance from others isn’t just part of our nature—it’s part of our survival. Evolutionarily, belonging to a group ensured safety and security. Today, though, social media amplifies this instinct to an overwhelming degree. It trains us to seek external validation constantly, measuring our worth in followers, likes, and comments. Each post, each story, becomes a moment to “prove” we’re living a worthy life—or worse, to check if we’re “enough.”
I fell into this trap hard. I’d post stories not for my enjoyment, but to show off, to reassure myself that I was doing fine, that my life was worth admiring. But the more I shared, the more I felt an aching sense of not-enoughness—a gnawing feeling that no matter what I posted or how many people reacted, it would never be sufficient. I realized I was chasing validation externally instead of addressing the insecurities within me that needed healing.
The Weight of Comparison and ‘Not Enoughness’
I know I’m not alone in these feelings, though it often felt that way. We tend to think we’re the only ones caught up in the madness of our minds, drowning in comparison and inadequacy. But the reality is, we’re all on social media, engaging in a silent competition to show we’re thriving. Each time I opened the app, I was bombarded by curated snippets of people “living their best lives.” Whether it was travel, career milestones, or personal achievements, it all triggered a sense that I wasn’t enough or that I was falling behind. Social media reinforced this “not enoughness” by design.
Returning with Awareness
After three years, I’m cautiously back on Instagram, but it’s different now. I still have moments where I catch myself scrolling too much or feeling the pull of comparison, but I’m more mindful. I understand how social media can hijack our natural need for connection and validation, leading us to a place of constant judgment and self-criticism. Knowing this, I can now approach it with boundaries and awareness.
Taking a social media break taught me that our worth doesn’t live in a follower count or a like count. True validation comes from within, from knowing ourselves deeply and building a life that feels true to us. If you’ve ever felt the weight of comparison or a craving for external approval, I highly recommend a break. Sometimes, the clarity we’re searching for only comes when we’re willing to step back and redefine our own sense of enoughness.
With love & light 💫
Syd
